Indoor Living

Have you every had one of those days when you think "it's so georgious outside I really should go outside, but I just don't want to?" Today is one of those days here Inside The Perimeter. It is currently sunny and eighty degrees on October 31st, and I just don't give a shit. Maybe it is because my Florida Gators lost to Georgia yesterday (although Miami and FSU also went down in defeat) maybe it's my inability to care because I am alone, or maybe I'm just too lazy. I'm not sure... I've decided to eat, drink, watch NFL football and piss the day away.

Paulie [eatl/ga]

Halloween. What a concept...

I love the concept of Halloween, the dressing up in odd attire, going somewhere for a party, the treats (candy for the children, beer for this adult). However, in practice I hate Halloween. I suck at being clever when it comes to costumes. Every year I vow that Next Year will be the year I plan early and get that costume that people exclaim "Man, that's a Great costume!" Every year, around October 28th I figure out that I fucked up the Halloween concept yet again, and that I refuse to spend time at Party City picking through the remainders of lame costumes with other assholes who couldn't think of anything better to do either.

As a child, oh so many years ago, Halloween was simple. In New York we'd dress up as bums, ghosts, etc walk around with pillow cases collecting candy and returning to my house where my mother organized a party. We'd sift through our loot, trading the candy we couldn't stand to one another in order to amass a stock pile of the the candy we loved. All I worried about back then was avoiding apples which had razor blades inserted in them (I always assumed this to be Urban Legend, a term that I don't believe existed in the 70's), getting hit by eggs, or having shaving cream sprayed into the hood of my jacket by the bullies. Maybe the romance of my nostalgia keeps me in love with eventhough I have this inability to participate as an adult. Maybe the Trick is on me....

Paulie [eatl/ga]

My Perfect PIM....

I hate waiting for someone to finally create my perfect Personal Information Manager (PIM). Sooooo many have come close and failed. Is it really this hard?

What I want

• Pocket-sized (for a man's pocket). I am old enough to remember the days of calculators so large you needed a pouch which attatched to your belt. I've been down that road of nerdom, I am not about to go back.
• Feature-rich Contacts, Schedule, and Memo.
• Keyboard which doesn't require me to have the skill of a fine-craftsman to use
  
• Phone capabilities
  
• Easy sync with a computer through usb, firewire, or bluetooth so that my Contacts list is in one, and only one, place. In this day and age there is no reason that I should have someone's old number/address in one place and the current one somewhere else.
• Instant Messaging as well as email, both accessable *anywhere* (given a certain service provider's network)
• Reasonable price. Nope I am not about to spend notebook-sized prices for this device.
  
• Reasonable rate plan. Sorry, $30 / month is more than I am willing to pay.

What would also be nice

• Camera
• Wi-Fi
• mp3 player
  

Yes, I am asking for a lot. All of these exist separately, why can't we have a Big Bang and create my Perfect PIM?

Paulie [eatl/ga]

A Fork In The Road

"When you come to the fork in the road, pick it up." So goes the punchline to an old joke.

Many years ago I observed that old people seemed to come in two flavors

• happy old person
• bitter old person

More and more I feel that I am becoming the latter.

Now it's easy to say "if you know you are going in that direction, why don't you just change?" My retort is that if it was that fucking simple, I would! More than one of my friends has suggested that I should seek counseling in order to correct my deficiencies. While that sounds like great advice, even to me, there is one flaw. I know what ails me, I am fucking lonely!!! Sure, I know the solution to this problem -- find a girlfriend. Unfortunately for me that's as about as easy of solving the problem of me not being a millionaire by simply finding a million dollars. Before you go and tell me that happiness comes from within and that no person can provide it for me, remember I am lonely and not necessarily unhappy; what I am missing is a partner.

Is there a Suitable Mate gene? If so I think I am missing it. This would be a good explanation to my futility at getting dates and would allow me to off myself when the thought of living alone for the rest of my life outweighed the value of the happiness I might provide to others. I have my physical flaws -- eyes set too wide apart, face scarred from teenage acne, average height, soon-to-be middle age flab around my midsection -- but I must also have some sort of physicological flaws as well. Why am I always Mr Wrong, or Mr Right At The Wrong Time? And how many times have I just been too stupid to realize that someone with whom I'd like to spend time with actually wanted to be with me as well.

Will it ever happen for me? Only time will tell. Will I become bitter if it doesn't? Time will tell that as well.

Paulie [eatl/ga]

NashVegas

InsideThePerimeter went way outside the perimeter last night, all the way to Nashville, Tennessee. Some of my friends and I went to see REM at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. As a twenty-year fan of the band I was geeked to see them once again. Ok, it's no longer the complete ban who made the hits, drummer Bill Berry long since departed, but the remaining members play many of the hits. The Ryman is a great little place to see a show. It's historic, as a former site of the Grand Ole Opry, and it boasts a good sound system.

I have been to Nashville a handful of times. This trip was easily my favorite. My friends and I visited some awesome bars -- The Second Fiddle, Robert's Western World, The Stage, and the Bluegrass Inn -- all with live bands and no cover. One of the strange characteristics of these places is that they charge an unsually high price ($3.50) for a bottle of Mille High Life. However, to their credit the PBR runs about $1-$1.50 a can. We also had a fantastic meal at Jack's Bar-B-Que. To make the meal even more memorable, we ran into Mike Mills (of REM) inside Jack's prior to the show. I'm not the "starstruck" type, but I did find it cool to run into one of the members of a band that I was going to see not two hours before the start of the show.

I am happy to be back ITP.

Paulie [eatl/ga]

Things in Atlanta I miss

My post about Market One along with an email conversation with a friend today made me think about the things in Atlanta I miss. Since this coming January marks my tenth anniversary of living in Atlanta, I feel qualified to pontificate on the things which have gone since I moved here.

- The Point: One of Little 5 Point's old music venue / bars. Used to get really good bands that you could see up close and personal.

- The Stein Club: Like drinking in your family's old den. Smoky, wood panelling, black and white pictures of people having fun.

- Frijoleros: The former Atlanta "burrito nazis." Order Here, eat fast and get the hell out. I saw a man get yelled at by the guy behind the counter because he had yet to order and moved beyond the "order here" sign.

- French Quarter Food Market: It was never "the best" cajun, especially once it expanded, but dammit it had some awesome Po Boy sandwiches.

- Gumbo A Go-Go: Cheap cajun eats, served no-frills style on cafeteria trays.

- Tortillas: Another of Atlanta's non-chain burrito joints. According to sources they were forced out of business by the chains.

- The Crazy Horse Saloon: The newest of "The Gone and Sorely Missed." Where will I go on New Year's to do karaoke with drunk fucks missing at least half of their teeth? Where will the tone deaf go this year?

- Harris Teeter: I never thought I'd miss a chain grocery store, but I do. While I never was successful picking up dates whilst "Teetering" there was always the hope of doing so. Guess I'll have to travel to North Carolina to keep the hope alive.

Paulie [eatl/ga]

What is your favorite word?

I admit it, I like Inside The Actors Studio, as well as the many spoofs about it and its host James Lipton. What made me think of this show was a few minutes this morning pondering my favorite word. In case you have never seen the show, Mr. Lipton always ends each interview by asking his guest to answer five questions stolen from a French interview show called "Bouillon de Culture" hosted by Bernard Pivot. One of these questions is "What is your favorite word?"

My favorite word is 'handsome' because with the exception of my mother, has only been uttered (about me) by two women in my life. In these rare instances I have been filled with limitless happiness. Now, I don't consider myself to be 'ugly', nor do I (and many women) really consider myself to be 'handsome'. Perhaps the best description of myself is 'average.' If I was an animal in the pound, I wouldn't be the first chosen, but I don't think that I'd be the last either. I used to joke that I believed that there was a woman for every man, but unfortunately for me Helen Keller is dead. Get it? She was deaf and blind. I'm here alls the veek, try the veal!

Paulie [eatl/ga]

btw -- My least favorite word is 'good-bye'. I'll let you figure that one out.

MARKET gONE

Prior to seeing Team America at the Plaza Theater last night I parked in the parking lot behind Market One. The lot was fairly empty which was odd, and then I noticed that the back door of Market One had been boarded up. Seems as if Market One is becoming Market Gone. Now it may seem unusual, but this bothers me. I used to love shopping in this building when it was Harry's In A Hurry, but not so much as when it became Market One. Apparently I was not the only one to feel this way. To me it was the cool, hip small pseudo-independent market intown. Many an attractive intown woman shopped there, and I cursed myself often for not being able to pick them up. However, the groceries there were always outstanding. Harry's and I guess Market One, lost out to Kroger, Publix, and the last entry into the intown grocery game Whole Foods.

While talking about Kroger I'd like to mention a phenomena that I think may be unique to the intown Atlanta market -- we have a tendency to label our Kroger stores. To the best of my recollection there is "Disco" Kroger (which resides where Atlanta's old disco was); "Kosher" Kroger (which resides in one of Atlanta's highly-populated Jewish areas); "Gay" Kroger (which resides in one of Atlanta's highly-populated gay/lesbian areas); and "Scary" Kroger (which is on Ponce near the Atlanta's institution The Clairmont Lounge). The Kroger near my house in East Atlanta has yet to get a name, at least to the best of my knowledge. I guess it's just not popular enough yet.

Paulie [eatl/ga]

South Park + Thunderbirds = Team America

I am rarely geeked up to see a movie. Today I am! After at least one beer (much like with bowling beer makes movies more enjoyable), I shall be attending a showing of Team America: World Police. I am hoping it will kick the sort of ass that I've come to expect from Matt Stone and Trey Parker. I guess that I will find out tonight.

While I am on the subject of movies.... Why haven't we introduced a fucking .mov top-level domain yet? I think its absolutely ridiculous that so many of these movie websites are www.BlahBlahBlahmovie.com. Come on ICANN, it's not like the top-level domain names really mean all that much (save, .gov and .edu). Hey MPAA, maybe you should concentrate your efforts on this for a while?

Paulie [eatl/ga]

I'm hungry

Two of my favorite words found on restaurant menus are "breakfast anytime." I love me some breakfast! Oddly, breakfast is the meal I eat the fewest times, most likely due to the fact that I am always hell-bent on getting into work early. I have always dreamed of calling 8am meetings at a local breakfast establishment forcing my employees to share in my love of the day's earliest meal.

Breakfast restaurants such as Waffle House and IHOP also violate my rule "Thou Shall Not Eat At Chain Restaurants." Atlanta has its fair share of non-chain breakfast joints such as The Flying Biscuit, The Majestic Diner, and The Silver Skillet, but these places are usually far too crowded come the weekend to satisfy my "I would like to eat NOW because I am hungry NOW" lifestyle.

Damn, now I'm even more hungry...
Paul [eatl/ga]

Cleaning

I am a very clean person. I'd say that I am OCD, but having never been diagnosed, nor being a doctor myself, I will stop shy of declaring myself so. Even being of this mindset, there are a few things I wish that I could make/keep dirty.

• Football - I attended the Lions v. Falcons game today inside the Georgia Dome. It was fun, even in home-team defeat, but the game inside a dome is far too clean. Football is meant to be played outside on grass and dirt field, not indoors on a faux-grass surface.
• Contacts (formerly known as Phone Books) - I have yet to reach the age where this task is predicated by the death of friends. Tonight's task will be to eliminate the names (memory?) of women who have informed me that I am not "The One." Regardless of the reason, I really hate the finality of this task.

Paulie [eatl/ga]

Let's get this party started! Take two?

A few days ago This Old Man decided to kick off his blogging life. After posting my first entry I cannot find it. Shit, I feel like one of the Ancients......

Paulie [eatl/ga]