Monday, April 04, 2005

Rain And Snow, The Joke's On Me

"What Was I Thinking?!?" That was the common theme of this weekend. If I asked myself that once, I asked it a thousand times.

Suches Life
On Saturday morning I rode up to Suches, Georgia to do the inaugural ALS Mountain Mania Ride. The Weather Channel predicted cloudy and windy conditions with temperatures in mid-forties and windchills in the mid-thirties. BRRRR!!! I packed accordingly. What the Weather Channel never mentioned was snow which would melt making everthing wet as well! FUCKING BRRRR!!!

Now, I am far from the most sane individual you'll meet, and with about fifty or so likeminded half-minds I started out on the planned fifty mile ride.

The first time I lost feeling in my toes I realized that my journey was that of a fool's. That was at mile fifteen. But I was there to ride fifty miles dammit!

When we all pulled into a gas station around mile twenty-eight and the bubbas who were there started laughing at us for being out in the snow/rain I realized that they were smarter than me. One of them saw the income potential in our stupidy and offered to give us a ride back to the start in his cattle trailer for a mere $200. Had I packed any money (why didn't I?) I would have paid him in full. But I was there to ride fifty miles dammit! So, I put some baggies on my feet in hopes to ward off frostbite and returned to the saddle.

At mile twenty-nine my quadriceps started to cramp, something to do with the transition from cold to warm to cold again I think. Food and drink were my "remedy" and I continued onward. The cramps were gone by mile thirty-one.

At mile thirty-two an angel appeared in the form of my friend Kat in a car that had a bike rack. It was at that point that I saw my friend get off his bike and I asked him "Are you quitting?". No sooner did the word "yes" escape his mouth when I jumped off my bike as well. I thought "But I am here to ride fifty miles dammit!" and then realized that this was the one time I should use that sliver of sanity I possess and give up.

Yes Virginia, it can snow in Georgia in April. I have friends who have pictures to prove it.

Ack Ack A Dack Worth
Sunday's sunny weather surely meant that all would be better in the world. An early morning (sleep minus one hour thanks to Daylight Savings Time) six-mile run followed by breakfast and beer was just what the doctor ordered.

Unfortunately my Sunday morning compadres are also hashers, including the half-wit I rode thirty-two miles with the day before. With a minor tug at my manhood they guilted me into going to Ackworth, Georgia to run the hash. Have I mentioned that I am not too bright?

I knew what I was getting into; at least I thought I did. With last week's rain timid creeks now needed to be swam. Did you know that the water temperature in April is still quite cold? I found out not once, but three times! Elaine, do women know about Shrinkage?

More Ticketmaster Grumbling
The ticket I just bought to see Bright Eyes and The Faint at Earthlink Live cost $36.10. The "ticket" cost $25.00, the other $11.10, or 44% of the ticket price, was for "Convenience Charge" ($7.60) and "Order Processing Fee" ($3.50). This is just fucking nuts!

It's a pity that my insurance no longer pays for psychiatric care...

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal...
Current Mood - worn out, dim-witted, in the dumps
Current Music - Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing Ween -- "Transdermal Celebration"
Website Of The Day - National Association of Psychiatric Health Systems

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]